Raising children in Canada, especially in a city like Edmonton, which is one of the most multicultural and multi-ethnic communities in the country, is a unique challenge for parents of new immigrants and refugees. It is not simply a matter of teaching children English or French, or helping them adapt to Canadian schools. It is a deeper and more complex task: teaching children to develop a healthy, integrated identity that combines the values and traditions of their country of origin with the values and norms of Canadian society. For many parents, this means balancing two worlds, often with conflicting values, norms, and expectations. However, it also presents a unique opportunity to give their children a wealth of cultural heritage, language skills, and adaptability that will serve them well throughout their lives. Understanding how to effectively raise children in Edmonton's multicultural environment is critical for parents who want their children to not only survive but thrive and flourish in their new home.
The unique challenges of raising children in a multicultural context
At first glance, raising children in a multicultural city like Edmonton seems like a predominantly positive experience. Children have access to a variety of cultures, there is a high tolerance for diversity, and schools often celebrate multiculturalism by studying different cultures within the curriculum. However, beneath the surface, parents face profound challenges that are often not recognized or understood sufficiently.
One of the most fundamental challenges is what psychologists call a “values conflict” or “cultural paradox.” Many parents from outside Canada come from cultures that emphasize collectivism, family hierarchy, respect for elders, and authority. However, Canadian society, especially in the areas of education and child-rearing, emphasizes individualism, independence, critical thinking, and questioning authority. When a child comes home from school and tells their parents about a lesson where the teacher encouraged students to “question” every statement made by the teacher, parents who treat authority with disrespect may find this incompatible with their values. The child, on the other hand, finds themselves in an awkward position where what the school teaches as positive (critical thinking and independence) may be viewed by parents as inappropriate or even disrespectful.
In addition, parents often experience what researchers call “unbalanced acculturation.” This means that children often acculturate faster than adults. Children learn English faster, accept new customs more readily, are more likely to have friends from different cultures, and may develop a more “Canadian” way of thinking and behaving. Parents who still hold fast to their original culture sometimes feel that they are losing touch with their children. A child who prefers to communicate in English and has difficulty speaking their parents' language can upset parents and cause deep fear that the child will lose touch with their heritage and cultural identity.
Another serious challenge is what research refers to as “cultural stereotypes” and “discrimination.” Although Edmonton is generally a progressive and multicultural city, children from refugee and immigrant families may still encounter discrimination, racism, and cultural stereotypes from peers, teachers, and other adults. Parents have the difficult task of preparing their children to be proud of their heritage and cultural identity, while also equipping them with the skills to combat discrimination and negative stereotypes. This requires a delicate balance between validating the child's experience and developing resilience.
The role of language in raising children in a multicultural environment
One of the most critical decisions that parents of newcomers to Edmonton must make is what language or languages to speak with their children at home. This decision often has profound emotional, cultural, and practical implications.
Many parents arrive in Edmonton with a deep desire to pass on the language of their country of origin to their children. Language is not just a means of communication—it is a window into the culture, history, values, and way of thinking of a people. When a parent speaks to their child in the language of their childhood, they are passing on not just words, but a whole world of meanings, memories, and cultural references. However, many parents also understand the practical importance of their children being fluent in English, as it is the language of school, friends, and most of Canadian society. This creates a difficult situation where parents must balance two potentially conflicting goals: preserving their heritage language and ensuring that their child becomes fluent in English.
Research shows that there are several strategies parents can use to support bilingualism in their children. The most common strategy is what researchers call the “one person, one language” approach. In this approach, one parent always speaks to their child in the heritage language, while the other parent speaks English. Research shows that this approach is often very effective in developing healthy bilingualism. Another strategy, “heritage language at home, English at school,” means that parents speak only their language of origin at home, and the child learns English at school and in the wider Canadian community. This strategy is also often very successful, especially if parents are consistent and persistent in using the heritage language.
However, it is important to understand that neither of these strategies guarantees success, and many parents find that their children ultimately develop a stronger ability to understand the heritage language than to speak it. This is normal and does not mean that parents have failed to pass on the language to their children. The child is often still able to understand the language of their parents and grandparents, allowing them to maintain a connection to their family and heritage, even if they respond in English.
Research also shows that there is no evidence that bilingualism delays language development in children. However, some parents hold the mistaken belief that teaching a child their heritage language will delay their development of English. This is not true. In fact, research shows that children who are fluent in both their heritage language and English often have cognitive advantages, such as increased creativity and more flexible thinking, compared to monolingual children. In addition, knowledge of the heritage language promotes closer relationships with the extended family and provides the child with a connection to their cultural heritage, which can have long-term positive effects on their mental health and sense of identity.
Balancing cultural values: when home and school conflict
One of the most challenging areas of raising children in a multicultural environment is when the values and norms that children learn at home conflict with the values and norms they learn at school and in Canadian society at large. These conflicts can arise in very specific situations and often upset both parents and children.
Consider, for example, the issue of discipline and punishment. In many cultures, it is believed that parents have the right and duty to use physical punishment as a means of teaching children discipline. However, in Canada, the law specifically prohibits “corporal punishment” — this includes spanking children. When parents who grew up in a culture where spanking is a normal disciplinary practice move to Canada, they may find themselves in a dilemma. If they continue to use spanking as their parents did, they risk violating Canadian law. However, if they abandon the practice, they may feel that they are abandoning their culture or that they are breaking with a tradition of discipline that they consider important for raising their children.
Similar conflicts can arise around the issue of independence and family hierarchy. Many parents from collectivist cultures believe that their role as parents includes making decisions for their children, at least at a young age—where to live, which school to attend, which extracurricular activities to participate in, and sometimes even the choice of friends and partners. However, Canadian schools and the family system often encourage children to participate in these decisions, give their opinions, and even have a say in some important matters. When a school teacher tells parents that it is important to allow their child to “express their opinion” or “contribute to the decision,” parents who value parental authority may see this as a lack of discipline.
The most effective way for parents in a multicultural environment to deal with these conflicts is to view them not as a choice between “my culture” or “Canadian culture,” but as an opportunity to help their child develop an integrated identity that includes elements of both. Psychologists call this “bicultural identity” or sometimes “cultural integration.” Instead of telling a child, “You must obey only my culture” or “You must accept only Canadian norms,” parents can say something like, "In our culture, we value respect for authority. However, in Canadian culture, people also value the ability to express their opinions. Let's figure out how we can respect parental authority while allowing you to express your opinion."
This approach does several important things. First, it validates the child's values and cultural heritage rather than rejecting them. Second, it teaches the child that they don't have to choose one identity over another, but can instead synthesize both. Third, it develops the child's critical thinking and flexibility, which will serve them well in a multicultural world.
Helping children develop a healthy bicultural identity
Developing a healthy bicultural identity in children is not something that just “happens” naturally. It requires deliberate parental input, thoughtfulness, and often adult outside-the-box thinking about what heritage parents want to pass on to their children.
One of the most effective ways parents can support the development of a healthy identity is by celebrating cultural festivals and traditions. There are many opportunities to do this in Edmonton. The city has cultural events and organizations that celebrate immigrant cultures, including festivals, concerts, fairs, and religious celebrations. When parents actively participate in these events with their children, they send a clear message: “Your heritage is important, valuable, and something to be proud of.” This is especially important because children often grow up in a world where their culture may be underrepresented in school, the media, and popular culture. Celebrating culture at home and in the larger community helps to compensate for this imbalance.
In addition, parents can help their children develop a healthy identity by telling them about their family history and stories of how their parents fled their home country and started a new life in Canada. These stories are a powerful means of transmitting cultural values, family history, and what psychologists call the “experience of cultural transmission.” When a child understands the hardships their parents endured to gain the opportunity to live in Canada, and the sacrifices and trade-offs they made to give their children a better life, the child often develops a deeper understanding of their heritage and a greater sense of pride in their culture.
In addition, parents can help their children develop a healthy identity by actively guiding their cultural education. This may include exposing the child to cultural programs, language classes, arts events, and other activities that help children learn about and connect with their heritage. For example, a child interested in the arts might attend traditional dance or music lessons; a child interested in language might enroll in a weekend school that teaches the language intensively. These formal learning opportunities are often more effective than simply talking at home, especially for children who are more involved with peers and authority figures than with their parents.
The role of the father in a multicultural context
In many cultures, the roles of the father and mother are clearly defined and divided. Fathers are often seen as the primary breadwinners and authority figures in the family, while mothers are seen as the ones who manage the household and are largely responsible for raising the children. However, in Canada, especially in modern society, there is a strong norm that both parents should play an active and equal role in raising children. Canadian fathers, like mothers, are expected to participate in daily activities, including hygiene, feeding, play, and homework.
This creates a unique challenge for parents from cultures where traditional gender roles are more clearly defined. Parents may worry that involving the father in everyday child-rearing somehow diminishes the father's authority or violates cultural norms. However, research shows that involving fathers in child-rearing can actually strengthen the family rather than weaken it. When fathers are actively involved in child-rearing, children develop a stronger bond with their fathers, parents develop a deeper understanding of their children's development, and the family as a whole functions more harmoniously.
For fathers who find it difficult to accept this new role, it is important to understand that involving the father in parenting does not mean giving up his authority. The father can still be an authoritative figure in the family while playing with the children, helping with homework, and making breakfast. In fact, recent psychological research shows that children particularly need both emotional availability and the establishment of boundaries and authority from both parents.
Navigating the education system and school in the context of multiculturalism
For parents new to Edmonton, school is often one of the most important and potentially challenging institutions in their children's lives. School is not just a place where children learn math and English. It is a place where children develop much of their identity, where they encounter the norms of Canadian society, where they develop friendships, and where they encounter teachings that may conflict with the values they have learned at home.
Parents often find it difficult to understand the Canadian education system, especially if they come from a country where the education system is significantly different. The Canadian education system, in general, is classic in its development of critical thinking, creativity, and the ability of students to express their opinions. Teachers often encourage students to ask questions, debate, and even disagree with the teacher if they have a reason to do so. For parents who come from education systems where the teacher's authority is absolute and where students are expected to simply listen and memorize information, this may seem strange and even irresponsible.
However, parents can help their children successfully navigate the Canadian education system by understanding and supporting its goals. This does not mean abandoning your values about school, but it does mean finding ways to balance your understanding of education with Canadian approaches. For example, parents can say to their child, “In our home, we value following the teacher's instructions and listening respectfully. In Canadian schools, teachers also value this, but they also want to hear your thoughts and see you thinking critically. Both of these aspects are important.”
In addition, parents can help their children by becoming actively involved in school life. Getting involved in parent organizations, attending parent-teacher conferences, talking to teachers, and leading conversations with children about their school day can help parents better understand the education system and what children are learning. It also sends a message to children that their parents value their education and are interested in their school life.
Addressing discrimination and building resilience
Unfortunately, despite Edmonton's commitment to multiculturalism and progressive values, children from immigrant and refugee families, especially those with visibly “foreign” names, languages, accents, or religious symbols, often encounter discrimination and racism from their peers and sometimes from adults.
Discrimination can range from minor insults and teasing to serious and hurtful manifestations of racism. A child may be teased because of their foreign name, ridiculed for the lunch they brought from home, or treated with suspicion because of their religion. These experiences can deeply affect a child's self-esteem and sense of identity. Parents have the difficult task of preparing their children to be proud of their heritage while equipping them with the skills to cope with discrimination and develop resilience.
One of the most effective ways parents can support their children is by creating a safe space where the child can openly talk about experiences of discrimination. When parents actively listen to and validate their children's experiences, they send the message that discrimination is not the child's fault and that parents are there to support them. Parents can also help their children develop coping strategies, such as how to talk to their peers about their cultural differences, how to respond to insults in a constructive way, and how to seek support from adults when they need it.
In addition, parents can help their children develop a “positive cultural identity” — a sense of pride in their heritage that serves as a “buffer” against the negative effects of discrimination. Research shows that children who have a strong sense of cultural pride and positive identity are more likely to develop resilience when faced with discrimination. They are less likely to develop mental health problems such as depression or anxiety, and more likely to develop healthy self-esteem.
Resources available in Edmonton for multicultural families
Fortunately for parents who are new to Edmonton, the city has many resources specifically designed to support parents in multicultural parenting.
The ASSIST Community Services Centre offers a Multicultural Parent Education program designed specifically for immigrant and refugee parents. This program is offered in several languages, including Ukrainian, Chinese, Korean, Arabic, Urdu, and many others. The program covers topics relevant to parents, such as fundamental parenting skills, how to deal with the challenges of puberty and adolescence, and how to support children through their development. Most importantly, the program is designed with an understanding that parents from different cultures may have different approaches to parenting, and the program respects these differences rather than dictating a single approach.
Intercultural Child & Family Centre at NorQuest College offers inclusive, culturally sensitive day care for immigrant and refugee children. The centre is designed with the understanding that newly arrived children need more than traditional day care. The centre celebrates cultural diversity, supports children's native languages, and promotes intercultural understanding. In addition, the centre works with parents to understand their values and view their children in a way that validates their multicultural backgrounds.
The Edmonton Public Library also has resources for parents of multicultural children. The library has children's books in many languages, including books that celebrate diversity and multiculturalism. In addition, the library often hosts programs for children and families that celebrate the cultures of different communities in Edmonton.
The Edmonton Immigrant Services Association (EISA) offers Children and Youth Settlement Services, a program designed to support newly arrived children in their adjustment to Canadian school and society. The program includes mentoring, academic assistance, and social support. Volunteers and staff, often immigrants themselves or from immigrant families, understand the unique challenges children face and can provide exemplary support that recognizes their experiences.
In addition, there is Multicultural Mental Health Canada, an organization that offers resources for parents and families on cultural adaptation and mental health. The organization understands that mental health is often interpreted differently across cultures, and it works to provide culturally sensitive support to families.
Practical strategies for parents of multicultural children
Beyond organized programs and resources, there are several practical strategies that parents can use to support their children's healthy development in a multicultural context.
First, parents can develop what experts call a “cultural parenting plan” — this means consciously thinking about what aspects of their culture parents want to pass on to their children and how they can do so. Rather than simply assuming that children will “naturally” absorb the culture at home, parents can consciously plan how to celebrate the culture, tell cultural stories, teach the language, and involve children in cultural activities.
Second, parents can work to develop what psychologists call “bicultural competence” in themselves. This means actively learning about Canadian society, understanding its values and norms, and developing the ability to function effectively in both cultures. When parents model this competence, they also teach it to their children. Children who see their parents balancing their heritage culture and Canadian culture learn to do the same.
Third, parents can actively build multicultural social networks for their children. This means that children have friends from different cultures, but also friends from their own culture. This helps children develop a dual identity and an understanding that they do not have to choose one culture over another.
Final Thoughts
Raising children in Edmonton's multicultural environment is a challenge for parents that requires more than just providing food and safety for their children. It requires parents to actively think about what values they want to pass on to their children, how they can balance their parental culture with Canadian values, how they can support their children in developing a healthy bicultural identity, and how they can equip their children with the skills to cope with discrimination and develop resilience.
However, this task also presents a unique opportunity. Children raised in a multicultural context are given a wealth of cultural heritage, the potential to develop multilingualism, and the opportunity to develop adaptability and creativity that will serve them well throughout their lives. When parents are actively involved in raising their children in a multicultural context, supported by the resources and programs available in Edmonton, the result is often thriving, confident children who are proud of their heritage, fluent in English, and able to function effectively in both cultures. These children are not only successful in Canada, but they are also deeply connected to their family heritage and cultural identity—the greatest victory of multicultural parenting.